Ashton Kutcher & Kris Jenner Use Twitter To Bribe LAPD [AUDIO]

July 1, 2011 12:40 pm
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Ashton Kutcher and Kris Jenner called into “On Air with Ryan Seacrest” to speak about the upcoming, “Car-mageddon” event, which is the Los Angeles freeway closure of the 405 freeway between 110 freeway to 10 freeway on July 15-17.

The LAPD has turned to none other then Ryan Seacrest to reach out to other social media celebrities to alert their twitter followers to be wary of “Car-mageddon,” and avoid this area altogether. LAPD’s Lieutenant Neiman called in to convince the celebrities to use their social platforms to help free the City of Angeles from gridlock.

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Ryan reached out to the queen bee and Kardashian manger, Kris Jenner. Kris begins negotiations by asking “I wouldn’t be a very good manager if we weren’t able to negotiate. I am willing to use the millions of followers in social media in exchange for ‘get out of jail card.’ You know just in case the girls ever run into a grumpy police officer.” Lt. Neiman quickly countered with a tour of the police facilities and a personal meeting with Los Angeles Chief of Police Charlie Beck. Mrs. Jenner agreed with, “It would be our pleasure to help you out in your mission. Mission Accepted!”

Ryan also reached out to the king of Twitter, Ashton Kutcher. Ashton was ahead of the game and had already tweeted about “Car-mageddon,” but he was also up for a little negotiating “Here’s the deal, if you read the tweet closely there is a little exchange proposition. Because there is actually a little bit of value in a tweet like this.” Lt. Neiman agreed and responded, “We are not above a little Quid Pro Quo here to get the message out.”

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Ashton stated his request saying, “I went through one of these camera powered stop lights the other day and I saw the flash go off.” Lt. Neiman assured him that the flash must have been from the paparazzi. “That is really good to know, because now I know that I am not going to get any mail from you. So, that’s a good deal.” Ashton replied.

Lt. Neiman is suggesting “Stay home have a block party, catch up on the house work or project. That is the key to the success of this thing.”


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