13 Facebook Profile Pics That Piss People Off [PHOTOS]
Facebook totally rocks for the most part. Nothing compares to the insurmountable joy it gives me to stalk the life outta new crushes and ex boyfriends. However, there’s one thing I absolutely can’t stand about Facebook and that’s overtly obnoxious defaults. We’ve gone ahead and recreated the top 13 notoriously awful prof pics, and are warning you that if you’re guilty of defaulting more than one of these types of pictures…you just may be a problematic Facebooker.
Medical experts have officially diagnosed this problem as OFDS (Obnoxious Facebook Default Syndrome). Symptoms may include: a low number of “likes” on your pictures, sarcastic comments left on defaults, and in severe cases–being defriended on Facebook altogether. Do you or anybody you know suffer from OFDS ? If so, you’re not alone. The good news is that if you or your friends have current default selections that eerily resemble 1-13 listed below, you can take the first step today to create a better tomorrow. Help is just the click of the delete button away.
*DISCLAIMER: None of these were taken from my real defaults; they were remastered to make a point. I’m personally offended if you thought I was actually that annoying.
13. The Sorority Squat
When you want to show how so totally popular you are by squishing thirty bodies into one frame, you have properly executed the “sorority squat.” The result is sore quadriceps and awkward limb contortion by 50% of photo subjects.
12. The Instagram Picture
More like Insta-brag. With the click of a button, this app makes any sandwich, sunset, or day at the beach seem cooler and more retro than it actually was.
11. The Head Shot
Just because your uncle owns an amateur photography studio, it doesn’t make you a model, hunny.
10. The Party Animal Pic
Squeezing those Grey Goose bottles or red solo cups in the shot to make sure everyone knows you raaggeee is a must. Bonus points if you get a club logo in the corner to ensure the Facebook world that you had a better Friday night than everyone else.
9. The Artsy Photo
It’s way too mainstream to use a regular digital camera or show your whole face in an artsy profile pic. People who are guilty of a hipster default also typically add intellectual glasses or some aspect of art to establish, “I’m more cultured than you.”
8. The MacBook Selfie
So awkward. Must. Break. Eye contact. P.S. We all know you had a 20-minute photo shoot with yourself and your webcam to get this one pic…
7. The Celebrity Besties Pic
6. The Over-Edited Picture
While uploading pics you think to yourself, “Hmm, this picture has potential to make the default cut, but not before some editing. Lets just increase exposure, add contrast, and decrease the saturation, and… voilà!” Newsflash: You did not save this picture. You did not “enhance” it. All you’ve done is turn yourself into Casper and make your nose and eyebrows disappear.
5. The Throwback Picture
It’s bad enough when my newsfeed gets flooded with pictures of you in a diaper every “Throwback Thursday.” What’s even worse is when I scroll through my Facebook friends and I feel like a creep because half of my friends have defaults of themselves as toddlers.
4. The Boyfriend Picture <3
Okay, we get it. You have a boyfriend and you like to make out. Right on, cause we’re single and don’t want to be reminded.
3. The Duckface (Kissey Lips)
You. Look. Like. An. Idiot.
2. The Crop Chop
I will NEVER understand why people sever their friends’ faces in half to classify a picture as default worthy. Is your friend that much prettier than you? Or are you just that obsessed with yourself?
1. The Bathroom Mirror Pic
These pictures should have died when Myspace did. Seriously.