Matthew Hussey Offers His Dating Advice and How to ‘Get the Guy’
Dating guru and author Matthew Hussey stopped by On Air with Ryan Seacrest to talk about his new iHeartRadio show LOVE Life with Matthew Hussey and offered his advice to all the single women and men out there.
The best-selling Get the Guy author reveals the top three questions women always ask him are: “Where do I meet great men? Why didn’t he call? And why won’t he commit?”
So get your notepad out … because he’s giving you all the answers!
Where to Meet Great Men:
“Women have to be prepared to meet men anywhere,” Matthew says. “I find the biggest problem that women have is they don’t know how to give a license to a guy any more. I say a 100 years ago when a woman walked past a guy, she made a move. And women [now] say, ‘I’m old-fashioned. I don’t make the first move.’ But [back then] when she walked past a guy and dropped a handkerchief and kept walking, and he saw the handkerchief and thought, ‘This is a great opportunity’ … and they have a conversation. So when women say to me [now], ‘I’m old-fashioned. I don’t make the first move.’ I say, ‘Well, you’re not old-fashioned. Women have been doing this for centuries. You just need to learn how again.’”
As far as how men can meet women, Matthew admits it’s the same problem. “They need to be able to go up to women, but the difference between men and women is, men can look like they’re doing the chasing, women can’t.”
Matthew goes on to say it’s also a good idea to meet people through friends. “We call it ‘pre-qualification’ because someone comes pre-qualified and you know they aren’t an axe murderer.”
As for meeting someone online, Matthew isn’t against it, but he believes there is an issue with the modern outlet.
“The problem with online dating is … they spend a lot of money convincing people that the only problem is that you’re perfect and he’s perfect, you’re just not meeting each other. And, of course, we know that’s not the problem because then these people go on dates and they ask, ‘Why didn’t he call me back?’ And it’s because we’ve lost the art of charm … [when online] you’re not refining your social skills.”
Why He Didn’t Call:
“I always say for women don’t assume, get certain,” Matthew says. “The No. 1 reason a guy doesn’t call is because on the date the woman was too much of one thing. She was either too serious or too playful or just sexy. And we all know we don’t get attracted to one thing, we get attracted to multiple things.”
Why He Won’t Commit:
“The No. 1 reason men don’t commit is because they have negative associations with commitment,” Matthew shares. “I always say the single guy is looking for the same thing as a guy in a relationship. It’s just the single guy thinks he gets it by being single and the guy in a relationship think he gets it by being in a relationship. It’s not that men are programmed to not want to be in a relationship, it’s that they associate fear or being trapped or not being able to see their friends with the relationship. The moment a woman comes along and convinces him he can have those things in a relationhisp, he’s sold.”
How to Flirt With a Co-Worker:
And with holiday parties coming up, Hussey goes on to say, yes, you can flirt with that guy in your office you’ve been crushing on!
1. Be more playful. “You want to keep it fresh with someone you’ve probably spent a lot of time with. If you have someone who you’ve been sitting next to for the last year, get a little role-play going. [Say], ‘You work at my office, don’t you? What was your name again?’ So in that moment … it allows that fresh moment where you can go, ‘Wow. You’re kind of cute. I’m surprised I didn’t notice you before.’ [But remember,] you lay the irony on thick.”
2. Be more sexy through disqualification. ”Everyone loves what they can’t have … if you said to a guy that you’ve had a banter with … ‘It’s such a good thing we are colleagues because you and me would be such trouble for each other.’ So now the person wants it a lot more.”
Get The Guy By New Year’s Eve:
And if there isn’t anyone special in the office, but you don’t want to be alone during the holidays (especially on New Year’s Eve), Matthew’s got you covered.
1. Say yes to all activities. “Anything that comes up … December is a very social month, even people without a social life have a social life in December, or have the potential to. So overbook and the only time you get to say, ‘No,’ is if you’re double booked socially.”
2. When you’re out, spend 90% of your time with people you don’t know, not with people you do know. “Leave your friends behind and go talk to other people.”
3. Have two lines chambered at any time ”So that you can go on auto-pilot when you see someone you’re attracted to … Two opening routines.”
“[For example] the first one is easy and it’s seasonal. You see someone that has nice taste in clothes and you say to them: ‘Listen I know this sounds crazy, but you look like you have great taste and I have no idea what to get my sister, you have to help me.’”
“The second one is more direct. You literally say, and this is good if you have like 30 seconds, ‘Look I would kick myself if I didn’t say Hi to you. I’m in a crazy rush, but I had to come over and say Hi.’ And here’s what you do next … you can say, ‘I’d kick myself if I didn’t come over. I had to come over and say Hi. You know I’m even kind of proud myself that I did because I nearly walked away and you know people always walk away in life, I came over to you, I even think I deserve some credit!’”
For more from Matthew, listen to the full interview above and click here to tune in to iHeartRadio’s LOVE Life with Matthew Hussey or download the app on your phone by going to iHeartRadio, then talk and searching “love life.”